I won't go into details. But my question is...Do most couples pay for health insurance together? (we are 47-50 years old)
I am frugal, he is beyond that. We have plenty of money and no debt but my husband doesn't want to pay for health insurance and insists that if I want such things I can buy it myself. (we have no employer insurance) I feel taken advantage of and unsafe. We have discussed it repeatedly over the years but nothing changes...I still want it and feel he should share the expense and he still insists it's my problem and he won't buy what he doesn't want.
I am sympathetic that I wouldn't want to have to pay for things I did not want, but I feel it's a necessity and it's uncaring and irresponsible not to have it....HELP! (and in case you're asking ....yes this is typical for all of our spending, I want home insurance, he doesn't, I had to buy every piece of furniture in our house) I am on the verge of leaving, I just can't stand the insecurity.Any Words of Advice from an Expert? Marriage Incompatible?
We have it through my work, so I pay for it.
You know, we are in our upper 40's too, and our health is beginning to show it. I can't imagine not having that safety net in case of major illness or something! My sister just had a hysterectomy, and without insurance, they would have been $40,000 in DEBT!
I urge you to get insurance before something like that happens!Any Words of Advice from an Expert? Marriage Incompatible?
Christine,
it's sounds like you have a pretty ';unique'; situation.
For the life of me, i cannot imagine being in a marriage where everything was not shared equally.
yes we pay together
These are MAJOR differences. It is clear you are on opposite sides of a magnet.
What I sense is that this is driving you to the point of sleeplessness, anger, frustration and feeling abused and thinking you are with a moron. The fact is millions of people are without health insurance. But what gave this Way was that YOU had to personally pay for all the furniture. He ISO not only cheap, it is pathological. He has Great Depression mentality and thinks living in a poverty state is OK when you have money to be minimally comfortable. Yes, normally, whoever works, be it one or both, pay for insurances.
I'd speak to a divorce specialist lawyer and draft a motion to divorce a man WHO has been mentally cruel to you....and yes, mental health sickness gets WORSE over time. This is a no winner for you. He is destroying you and your sense of serenity and safety. This is not talking about demanding diamonds.
Part of your divorce is going to demand the house must be sold so you can get something out of it. YOu arer also eneitled to 1/2 of the value of anyt pensions he has since you married hiunm, if you were working when he was still in school so that you would have support4ed him to get his career in gear, M%26lt;oney market accounts, stocks, money marikets, stocks, IRA, Keough, IRAs, etc. Get The Divorce Handbook.
The furniture is, however, considered a marital asset and he is entitled to 1/2 of the value when the drove motion is filed, despite the fact You and you alone paid for it.
Divorce is necessary for your sanity. By the way, when he gets the need for hospitalization or has serous med expenses, the hospital and MDs WILL go after YOUR account. Get rid of him before that happens and you are bankrupted.
This sounds just like my dad, the cheap dead bastard, who ended health insurance and threemonths later got lung cancer and heart desease. Fool!
By the way, just say that he refuses to pay for any and all insurances which causes you grief, had forefeet to pay for Even one squiggle of furniture, one pot and pan, etc. Mental cruelty communes from what you should claim is hies insults and screaming at you about it constantly whenever you bring UP these mutterer. The insults in public places ( hopfuily you have a witness) and calling you for example an idiot, a moron, etc is mental cruelty.
good luck
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Fellas, after the Michael Strahan story I have 3 words of advice: DON'T GET MARRIED!?
Apparently, the reason Strahan hasn't showed up for camp is because he is going through a divorce settlement. He owes his money grabbing wife $15.3M. Apparently, he also has back child support that he owes, and that comes to be about $18,000 a month, That's over $214,000 annually. Strahan had to give up the mansion and over half of his estate. Now granted, he should have payed his child support, but damn, $15.3M to the wife? Are you kidding me? That's how some women are though. I did say some. They just sit up for someone doing good and they see a pay day. And these fools keep right on and marry these gold diggers(not all, just some.) And get this: they had a pre-nuptial agreement. This fool tried to invalidate the agreement. Well, while you're at it won't you jump into a snake pit too, because when you marry with lots of dough, you're just asking to get bit! What the hell was he thinking? I hate the Yankees, but Jeter is so smart.Fellas, after the Michael Strahan story I have 3 words of advice: DON'T GET MARRIED!?
That's part of the problem being a pro athlete. The ideal wife would be somebody who didn't have a clue who you were before meeting you. But with the circles that athletes travel in, they probably don't meet any regular people.Fellas, after the Michael Strahan story I have 3 words of advice: DON'T GET MARRIED!?
Both Strahan and his wife tried to get the prenuptial agreement invalidated. It was a terribly written document that should have been looked over by a quality attorney before either one of them signed it. She didn't ask for that kind of settlement. It is way over anything she asked for. It was the judge who decided on the settlement amount based on how much he makes and the lifestyle the wife and kids are accustomed to.
Ya know . . . all of this would have been avoided if he hadn't had his little ';Cupcake '; on the side and hadn't taken a video of her sister undressing for which he deposited $30,000 into the sister's account. Expensive lesson. I hope he learned the lesson, is much smarter now and knows how to stay out of trouble like this again. I also hope he heads to the training camp sometime soon. The fines are piling up.
Definitely don't get married if you're paranoid you'll make a poor choice.
So, long winded rant, but what was your question? This is a Q%26amp;A site and your posts rhetorical questions don't count so what are you asking or did you just feel like posting a violation?
Not all women are like that. He should pay his child support though.
Strahan payed because him and his idiot lawyer set up a prenup to pay her half of his estate plus an additional percentage for every year of marriage. It is his own fault for being an idiot, he can't control his package around other women when he's married he should stay away from them. He gets no sympathy from me for being an idiot.I pray the Giants don't pay him for his mistakes.
So it's okay for him to cheat and not pay child support? Wow!
The big guy brought this on himself. No one forced him to get married or have kids. Life is fullof options everyday. See money doesnt but everything especially happiness. Besides dont feel sorry for him cause he sure wont feel sorry for you
That's part of the problem being a pro athlete. The ideal wife would be somebody who didn't have a clue who you were before meeting you. But with the circles that athletes travel in, they probably don't meet any regular people.Fellas, after the Michael Strahan story I have 3 words of advice: DON'T GET MARRIED!?
Both Strahan and his wife tried to get the prenuptial agreement invalidated. It was a terribly written document that should have been looked over by a quality attorney before either one of them signed it. She didn't ask for that kind of settlement. It is way over anything she asked for. It was the judge who decided on the settlement amount based on how much he makes and the lifestyle the wife and kids are accustomed to.
Ya know . . . all of this would have been avoided if he hadn't had his little ';Cupcake '; on the side and hadn't taken a video of her sister undressing for which he deposited $30,000 into the sister's account. Expensive lesson. I hope he learned the lesson, is much smarter now and knows how to stay out of trouble like this again. I also hope he heads to the training camp sometime soon. The fines are piling up.
Definitely don't get married if you're paranoid you'll make a poor choice.
So, long winded rant, but what was your question? This is a Q%26amp;A site and your posts rhetorical questions don't count so what are you asking or did you just feel like posting a violation?
Not all women are like that. He should pay his child support though.
Strahan payed because him and his idiot lawyer set up a prenup to pay her half of his estate plus an additional percentage for every year of marriage. It is his own fault for being an idiot, he can't control his package around other women when he's married he should stay away from them. He gets no sympathy from me for being an idiot.I pray the Giants don't pay him for his mistakes.
So it's okay for him to cheat and not pay child support? Wow!
The big guy brought this on himself. No one forced him to get married or have kids. Life is fullof options everyday. See money doesnt but everything especially happiness. Besides dont feel sorry for him cause he sure wont feel sorry for you
Trust him? Any words of advice plz.....?
I know it wasn't good to do, but I checked my boyfriend's emails. I saw he had every single email that I have sent him, but on the deleted folder, I saw a lot of old emails dating to early 2007. Then, I found these 5 emails from a girl in which he also replied back, the year was supposdely 2008, and by that time we had barely started dating. I am so confused, and I don't know what to think. I talked to him straight about it, and he said that those emails were from the time before we started dating, but that sometimes the dates and times are wrong. Honestly, it doesn't stop bothering me thinking about it. He has been a wonderful boyfriend, and he had never given me any reasons to doubt about him. I mean, he always calls me, we go out every time we can, our families knows us each other, he has never acted weird with phone calls or messages or anything, and he said that if he had something to hide he wouldnt have given me the password. Everything is so formal that he has said he wants to marry after college. I am so confused! Any words of advice??Trust him? Any words of advice plz.....?
He sounds pretty believable. I wouldn't worry about it.Trust him? Any words of advice plz.....?
I think he sounds pretty good, but just a quick point: if he is really into you, like married into you, he would have deleted those e-mail of past girls. That's what my boyfriend did. If he is focused solely on you, he would probably have deleted them. Just a pointer.
don't worry girl, maybe your just trying to find something to doubt him, but he sounds like mr. perfect. i do not think at all he cheated on you. i would believe him. have more faith in your man :)
I think you should trust him, as you said these emails were from when you were barley dating.
I think you should worry about him trusting you, what the hell were you doing checking his emails? If my girlfriend did that i know i wouldn't trust her, this is no because im cheating on her, im completely faithfull to her but emails are private, noone has the right to go through other peoples email.
WHAT ARE YOU CONFUSED ABOUT???????
1) Those emails were either prior or just after you bagan dating.
2) There's no way to change the dates, I don't know what you're thinking about this%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
3) He's a great bf.
4) YOU SOUND LIKE THE PROBLEM!!!!!! you go through his emails, you confront him over very old emails that don't mean anything, and you seem confused over something.
Yeah,sounds like he is being honest but just in case, no sex until AFTER you are married to be on the safe side.
OK you found e-mails for a year ago, are you serious, I think you are tired of being with him and you are looking for reasons to break up with him and if this is all you got you need to keep digging cuz this is crap that was from a long time ago and it more then likely did happen before you, does he know all your past NO so get over his little long time love notes and move on if you are mad for that then I wonder what you did that your looking for some fault in him.. this sounds a lil fishhhy.
Well if he is serious about u and u really trust him then don't sweat it. But if the e-mail said something like he was dating this other girl, but he is not dating her now, then just explain to him that there is no reason to lie to u. Hope that helps
If the most recent were that long ago, then just forget them. If there were some in the last month or so, then you could worry.
He sounds pretty believable. I wouldn't worry about it.Trust him? Any words of advice plz.....?
I think he sounds pretty good, but just a quick point: if he is really into you, like married into you, he would have deleted those e-mail of past girls. That's what my boyfriend did. If he is focused solely on you, he would probably have deleted them. Just a pointer.
don't worry girl, maybe your just trying to find something to doubt him, but he sounds like mr. perfect. i do not think at all he cheated on you. i would believe him. have more faith in your man :)
I think you should trust him, as you said these emails were from when you were barley dating.
I think you should worry about him trusting you, what the hell were you doing checking his emails? If my girlfriend did that i know i wouldn't trust her, this is no because im cheating on her, im completely faithfull to her but emails are private, noone has the right to go through other peoples email.
WHAT ARE YOU CONFUSED ABOUT???????
1) Those emails were either prior or just after you bagan dating.
2) There's no way to change the dates, I don't know what you're thinking about this%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
3) He's a great bf.
4) YOU SOUND LIKE THE PROBLEM!!!!!! you go through his emails, you confront him over very old emails that don't mean anything, and you seem confused over something.
Yeah,sounds like he is being honest but just in case, no sex until AFTER you are married to be on the safe side.
OK you found e-mails for a year ago, are you serious, I think you are tired of being with him and you are looking for reasons to break up with him and if this is all you got you need to keep digging cuz this is crap that was from a long time ago and it more then likely did happen before you, does he know all your past NO so get over his little long time love notes and move on if you are mad for that then I wonder what you did that your looking for some fault in him.. this sounds a lil fishhhy.
Well if he is serious about u and u really trust him then don't sweat it. But if the e-mail said something like he was dating this other girl, but he is not dating her now, then just explain to him that there is no reason to lie to u. Hope that helps
If the most recent were that long ago, then just forget them. If there were some in the last month or so, then you could worry.
Boyfriend Issues? Some words of advice would be nice:D!?
Well I've only had two boyfriends so far. I recently started dating this guy. He's a reall down to earth guy. We have a lot in common in our personality, which I personally makes us two have a thing for eachother.
However, hes a type of guy you'd pick out of the croud of being very down to earth and nice. But once you get to meet him he's a normal person that has a lot of personal self esteem issues. and hes still discovering himself.
he went with his family over the weekend and didnt take his phone. So we didn't talk. Before he left. He seemed a bit sad. He told me that he was confused and wasnt sure. he liked five girls (he thinks he did but wasnt sure) But when he came back. He acted as if nothing had been said about that. But he seemed a little sad lately.. Not himself. We don't really have much of a connection. And his phone is always dead so we dont get to talk that much. I love him so much. But lately, it doesn't seem as if he loves me anymore. We just dont have the connection we use to.....
Could Someone give me a bit of advice here on what to do. Its confusing, I love him, but does he love me?
And Thank you for the help. If you wan't me to answer any of your questions, I'll answer themm:D!Boyfriend Issues? Some words of advice would be nice:D!?
Okay....Jenny....that was a little long but worth reading because this guy who you obviously love seems to be worth your time in coming on here to seek advices.
I'm just a bit concerned about the part where you mentioned that he ';have a lot of personal self-esteem issues';. From my understanding, it sounds like he is still trying to find his place and identity in this world and until he does, he may not be able to express himself whole-heartedly to you or anyone else for that matter. One thing that does help him to begin with is that he is a down-to-earth person. Patience is a virtue and IF time is what you think you can spare than by all mean, give it to him. He just needs the time and space to sort things out and as long as he still keeps you updated on his well-being than you shouldn't worry too much. Just make sure you make yourself emotionally available at all time when the time calls for.
Having someone special like you around is what he will appreciate most......And as for your last question on whether he loves you or not, I'm pretty sure he does.
So, like I said before....give him time to sort things out and be at peace with himself before he can fully exert himself more into this relationship of ya'll's.
**Good luck....and hope that was of some help.
You seem to be of someone who is very kind, intelligent, and supportive of him...continue to do so.Boyfriend Issues? Some words of advice would be nice:D!?
From personal experiences I could tell you that I cannot like someone for longer than 2 months. At the beginning of all the relationships I had, I felt like this one is ';it';. But throughout the time we were together, things are working great; we both love each other and boom out of nowhere I completely lose interest in her and that's the end of that. I am very concerned about that. I am still seeking answers on why I do that. I get bored after a while and no matter how much in love I was with that person, it will all be just over.
Now, I hope it's not the same in your case. Maybe your boyfriend has been going through stress. Something might be bothering him. There is a reason why he is acting like this. You mentioned that he said he like about 5 girls. Maybe he is getting closer to one of those five girls and maybe starting to get feelings for that person. That could be a possibility.
What I can advise you to do is try to talk to him and ask him to tell you if anything is bothering him and tell him to be honest with you. Tell him what is happening with those girls that he liked.
You can always come back to Y!A for future help.
He could still love you but maybe other things in his life have gone wrong. You have to remember that if something is going wrong in one aspect of his life it probably seeps over to the others and affects them negatively too. If he already had issues and then something bad happened, well, this is going to make it worse. Its a catch 22 because being around him might make him feel better but he doesn't want to be around you because you will see he is having issues and probably thinks you will just leave him. So there is no simple solution. See if you can do something engaging that will distract him for a bit and see if he goes back to normal. If so, then something in his life went wrong and he has to deal with it. As a guy, its going to be tough for him to tell you about it. Stick with it if you think you are strong enough.elizabeth arden
However, hes a type of guy you'd pick out of the croud of being very down to earth and nice. But once you get to meet him he's a normal person that has a lot of personal self esteem issues. and hes still discovering himself.
he went with his family over the weekend and didnt take his phone. So we didn't talk. Before he left. He seemed a bit sad. He told me that he was confused and wasnt sure. he liked five girls (he thinks he did but wasnt sure) But when he came back. He acted as if nothing had been said about that. But he seemed a little sad lately.. Not himself. We don't really have much of a connection. And his phone is always dead so we dont get to talk that much. I love him so much. But lately, it doesn't seem as if he loves me anymore. We just dont have the connection we use to.....
Could Someone give me a bit of advice here on what to do. Its confusing, I love him, but does he love me?
And Thank you for the help. If you wan't me to answer any of your questions, I'll answer themm:D!Boyfriend Issues? Some words of advice would be nice:D!?
Okay....Jenny....that was a little long but worth reading because this guy who you obviously love seems to be worth your time in coming on here to seek advices.
I'm just a bit concerned about the part where you mentioned that he ';have a lot of personal self-esteem issues';. From my understanding, it sounds like he is still trying to find his place and identity in this world and until he does, he may not be able to express himself whole-heartedly to you or anyone else for that matter. One thing that does help him to begin with is that he is a down-to-earth person. Patience is a virtue and IF time is what you think you can spare than by all mean, give it to him. He just needs the time and space to sort things out and as long as he still keeps you updated on his well-being than you shouldn't worry too much. Just make sure you make yourself emotionally available at all time when the time calls for.
Having someone special like you around is what he will appreciate most......And as for your last question on whether he loves you or not, I'm pretty sure he does.
So, like I said before....give him time to sort things out and be at peace with himself before he can fully exert himself more into this relationship of ya'll's.
**Good luck....and hope that was of some help.
You seem to be of someone who is very kind, intelligent, and supportive of him...continue to do so.Boyfriend Issues? Some words of advice would be nice:D!?
From personal experiences I could tell you that I cannot like someone for longer than 2 months. At the beginning of all the relationships I had, I felt like this one is ';it';. But throughout the time we were together, things are working great; we both love each other and boom out of nowhere I completely lose interest in her and that's the end of that. I am very concerned about that. I am still seeking answers on why I do that. I get bored after a while and no matter how much in love I was with that person, it will all be just over.
Now, I hope it's not the same in your case. Maybe your boyfriend has been going through stress. Something might be bothering him. There is a reason why he is acting like this. You mentioned that he said he like about 5 girls. Maybe he is getting closer to one of those five girls and maybe starting to get feelings for that person. That could be a possibility.
What I can advise you to do is try to talk to him and ask him to tell you if anything is bothering him and tell him to be honest with you. Tell him what is happening with those girls that he liked.
You can always come back to Y!A for future help.
He could still love you but maybe other things in his life have gone wrong. You have to remember that if something is going wrong in one aspect of his life it probably seeps over to the others and affects them negatively too. If he already had issues and then something bad happened, well, this is going to make it worse. Its a catch 22 because being around him might make him feel better but he doesn't want to be around you because you will see he is having issues and probably thinks you will just leave him. So there is no simple solution. See if you can do something engaging that will distract him for a bit and see if he goes back to normal. If so, then something in his life went wrong and he has to deal with it. As a guy, its going to be tough for him to tell you about it. Stick with it if you think you are strong enough.
Depression, heart broken, words of advice please?
First off, I'm a teen and have a good idea that I'm depressed. I've been through more than a regular teenager would go through in the past year. At the moment, I'm heart broken. It's not one of those things you get over in a couple days, it feels permanent. I've been heart broken for over 6 months now. I used to be an extremely happy person when I was dating my ex-boyfriend. Ever since we broke up, my habits have changed. I don't tend to sleep as much, nor eat. If I'm not around someone, I get this feeling of loneliness and it won't leave me. Also, I used to wake up and the first thing I would do is take a shower every morning. Lately, I've got to urge myself to build up the energy to do something as simple as taking a shower. I know I need to go see a therapist and get diagnosed but I just need some word of advice. I miss my ex very much. He keeps asking me to take him back, but he cheated on me, and I've got to say no - which hurts. Happy New Year to everyone.Depression, heart broken, words of advice please?
You do sound as if you are becoming depressed. Go see the doctor. Take some form of hobby which includes exercise, horse riding or something you like. Make a list of things you like doing and do them. There will be someone out there that will not cheat on you, but at the moment take care of yourself.Depression, heart broken, words of advice please?
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
--Deuteronomy 31:8
So ya just go see a therapist and just talk to some like a close friend or even your mom so you wont have all your thoughts and feelings bottled up talking helps a lot
Play some good R%26amp;B you can relate to and make your bed! Take a bubble bath,get your eyebrows waxed, eat cake and call up a friend to vent about how it hurts.Go for a walk to clear your head.Clean up light candles or incense.It's okay to be sad and confused for a little while but get back to your routine school,work friends family.See the world!
I'm not gonna say that I understand what your going through because no one can completley put themselves in someone else's shoes. But i can relate pretty well. I was going out with my boyfriend for about 3 years, and I loved him. And the thing with me, is that I don't fall in love easily. I think he was probably the first. We broke up 2 years ago though because we ended up at different schools and it was too hard with the distance and all. Even though we ended things on good terms, he started talking to me again about 2 weeks ago. It made me realize how much I actually missed him, but then I also realized that nothing was ever gonna happen again between us. You have to learn how to let go of your past and move forward no matter how hard it seems. There's people out there who don't have even the most neccesary of things so I still count myself blessed for what i have. there's many things in life you probably haven't experienced, and there's still many people you haven't met. Out of the 6 billion people, i'm sure you're bound to find someone else that'll be even more special to you.
Keep your head up, things will look better. It's the new year, try to start it off with a positive attitude, and you'll see how things can start looking better.
Hope this helped:)
You do sound as if you are becoming depressed. Go see the doctor. Take some form of hobby which includes exercise, horse riding or something you like. Make a list of things you like doing and do them. There will be someone out there that will not cheat on you, but at the moment take care of yourself.Depression, heart broken, words of advice please?
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
--Deuteronomy 31:8
So ya just go see a therapist and just talk to some like a close friend or even your mom so you wont have all your thoughts and feelings bottled up talking helps a lot
Play some good R%26amp;B you can relate to and make your bed! Take a bubble bath,get your eyebrows waxed, eat cake and call up a friend to vent about how it hurts.Go for a walk to clear your head.Clean up light candles or incense.It's okay to be sad and confused for a little while but get back to your routine school,work friends family.See the world!
I'm not gonna say that I understand what your going through because no one can completley put themselves in someone else's shoes. But i can relate pretty well. I was going out with my boyfriend for about 3 years, and I loved him. And the thing with me, is that I don't fall in love easily. I think he was probably the first. We broke up 2 years ago though because we ended up at different schools and it was too hard with the distance and all. Even though we ended things on good terms, he started talking to me again about 2 weeks ago. It made me realize how much I actually missed him, but then I also realized that nothing was ever gonna happen again between us. You have to learn how to let go of your past and move forward no matter how hard it seems. There's people out there who don't have even the most neccesary of things so I still count myself blessed for what i have. there's many things in life you probably haven't experienced, and there's still many people you haven't met. Out of the 6 billion people, i'm sure you're bound to find someone else that'll be even more special to you.
Keep your head up, things will look better. It's the new year, try to start it off with a positive attitude, and you'll see how things can start looking better.
Hope this helped:)
Any got some words of advice? i gots a problem?
i kinda having a dilemma, girl problems if you will. and i would like some help.
ok heres some details on the situation. theres a girl that i have been talking to for over over 6 months (we met right here on yahoo answers). she lives in Alaska and im in Oklahoma. she is the most perfect person i have ever talked to, we talked about a long distance relationship and we both agreed that it wouldnt work, but now recently i have learned that i have kinda changed her mind on it and she might consider one. but the dilemma that i have is that the girl that i really like who lives here (Oklahoma) just broke up w/ her bf and is now single.
so im not sure if i wanna pursue my old interest or wait and see what my Alaskan girl is gonna do. i just some opinions on my problem.Any got some words of advice? i gots a problem?
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. People are very good actors and it is possible that the lady in Alaska is not so perfect. On the otherhand you know the lady nearby, is she worth it? If you have dated her before, there had to bea reason you broke it off- has anything changed?
It will be a gamble, and I hope it works out for you. Just please do not lead the lady in Alaska on and date the girl close by at the same time.Any got some words of advice? i gots a problem?
I think that you should pursue the girl in Oklahoma. A relationship with the Alaska girl would be really hard, considering how far apart you are.
you posted this question weeks ago.
ok heres some details on the situation. theres a girl that i have been talking to for over over 6 months (we met right here on yahoo answers). she lives in Alaska and im in Oklahoma. she is the most perfect person i have ever talked to, we talked about a long distance relationship and we both agreed that it wouldnt work, but now recently i have learned that i have kinda changed her mind on it and she might consider one. but the dilemma that i have is that the girl that i really like who lives here (Oklahoma) just broke up w/ her bf and is now single.
so im not sure if i wanna pursue my old interest or wait and see what my Alaskan girl is gonna do. i just some opinions on my problem.Any got some words of advice? i gots a problem?
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. People are very good actors and it is possible that the lady in Alaska is not so perfect. On the otherhand you know the lady nearby, is she worth it? If you have dated her before, there had to bea reason you broke it off- has anything changed?
It will be a gamble, and I hope it works out for you. Just please do not lead the lady in Alaska on and date the girl close by at the same time.Any got some words of advice? i gots a problem?
I think that you should pursue the girl in Oklahoma. A relationship with the Alaska girl would be really hard, considering how far apart you are.
you posted this question weeks ago.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Any thoughts or words of advice?
The wife is coming over this weekend to resolve details towards filing paper work to initiate our divorce. I am greatly concerned that I will do or say something that will interupt the process... I'm not sure that either of us is greatly interested in pursuing a divorce, but I'm in a place where I am unwilling to commit...
we've just been through a lot together... and through counceling, I have recognized that I suffer from unresolved childhood traumas (I guess, kind of a challenge for me to recognize and accept)... I am not comfortable that suffecient progress towards healing has been completed by my self or between us as a couple... additionally, my wife is suffering from the results of her own childhood traumas and unfortunately she has decided that she no longer needs to continue her own counceling... I disagree with this choice...
After renewing the lease at my place and discussing with her an interest I have in purchasing a forclosed home closer to my office next spring (my commute between the house and office was about an hour each way)... she has asked that we proceed with the divorce... we just disagree on so much stuff and are no longer willing to compromise with one another...
I know that I would like to proceed with the divorce... that it is probably the healthiest choice...
and yet, I am fearful that when we are together this weekend...
Any comments or advice?Any thoughts or words of advice?
Make up your mind BEFORE she comes. If you are not ready to discuss the divorce and how you will separate you properties, then don't bother having her over. Nothing good can come of that.Any thoughts or words of advice?
I'm very sorry to hear this. I'm not sure what your house has to do with it, honestly, but anyway...
I suggest you meet in a public place so you can't devolve into an argument, tears, unhealthy and unproductive behavior. You are both doing the right thing, although it is painful. Hang in there. Who knows what will happen after you divorce and have time to heal, work on yourselves? This is not a death sentence.
Good luck.
Get an arbitrator. Have him divide things o an objective basis. Both of you then negotiate till you reach agreement. Then hire just one lawyer to represent her but divide things in accord with the arbitrator's formula. This will help you out in the long run.
Well first have a clear understanding of what will be discussed.
Like property, furnishings, car, credit card debt etc...
Decide what you want and be ready to compromise. This will help keep the discussion short.
Then I suggest taking it to a place that is not so comfortable as home. Your ready for divorce. You want divorce. Remember that.
Try not to be argumentative. Don't discuss your opinion on her choice to discontinue counseling. Deal with the issue at hand and the facts. If you can work out most everything the divorce can be speeded up through a uncontested divorce. Saves money and time.
I have no sympathy for you. You say, ';I'm in a place where I am unwilling to commit,'; but you ARE married - you are committed.
So you have to go to counseling for yourself, fine, good for you for taking that step. But where is it written that people have to be 100% healthy and well in order to be married? You took a vow that included ';in sickness and in health';; I assure you, that is intended to include emotional sicknesses.
I've been married for 23 years, and I firmly believe in the sanctity of marriage. I refuse to give you advice on how not to stop the divorce. You certainly ought to stop the divorce!
we've just been through a lot together... and through counceling, I have recognized that I suffer from unresolved childhood traumas (I guess, kind of a challenge for me to recognize and accept)... I am not comfortable that suffecient progress towards healing has been completed by my self or between us as a couple... additionally, my wife is suffering from the results of her own childhood traumas and unfortunately she has decided that she no longer needs to continue her own counceling... I disagree with this choice...
After renewing the lease at my place and discussing with her an interest I have in purchasing a forclosed home closer to my office next spring (my commute between the house and office was about an hour each way)... she has asked that we proceed with the divorce... we just disagree on so much stuff and are no longer willing to compromise with one another...
I know that I would like to proceed with the divorce... that it is probably the healthiest choice...
and yet, I am fearful that when we are together this weekend...
Any comments or advice?Any thoughts or words of advice?
Make up your mind BEFORE she comes. If you are not ready to discuss the divorce and how you will separate you properties, then don't bother having her over. Nothing good can come of that.Any thoughts or words of advice?
I'm very sorry to hear this. I'm not sure what your house has to do with it, honestly, but anyway...
I suggest you meet in a public place so you can't devolve into an argument, tears, unhealthy and unproductive behavior. You are both doing the right thing, although it is painful. Hang in there. Who knows what will happen after you divorce and have time to heal, work on yourselves? This is not a death sentence.
Good luck.
Get an arbitrator. Have him divide things o an objective basis. Both of you then negotiate till you reach agreement. Then hire just one lawyer to represent her but divide things in accord with the arbitrator's formula. This will help you out in the long run.
Well first have a clear understanding of what will be discussed.
Like property, furnishings, car, credit card debt etc...
Decide what you want and be ready to compromise. This will help keep the discussion short.
Then I suggest taking it to a place that is not so comfortable as home. Your ready for divorce. You want divorce. Remember that.
Try not to be argumentative. Don't discuss your opinion on her choice to discontinue counseling. Deal with the issue at hand and the facts. If you can work out most everything the divorce can be speeded up through a uncontested divorce. Saves money and time.
I have no sympathy for you. You say, ';I'm in a place where I am unwilling to commit,'; but you ARE married - you are committed.
So you have to go to counseling for yourself, fine, good for you for taking that step. But where is it written that people have to be 100% healthy and well in order to be married? You took a vow that included ';in sickness and in health';; I assure you, that is intended to include emotional sicknesses.
I've been married for 23 years, and I firmly believe in the sanctity of marriage. I refuse to give you advice on how not to stop the divorce. You certainly ought to stop the divorce!
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