Sunday, May 9, 2010

I just left the love of my life because of his drug addiction two days ago, any words of advice would help?

This seemed to be the last thing that could ever happen to me. Cause I was always the girl who said 'why was she SO blinded by love, come on wake up!';


I want to just sum it up in a nutshell the best I can. It was my first semester in college, and I had a falling out with my roommate (a real beezy) and she left. So I was in my small dorm all alone, no friends cause it was the beginning of the year. Then I met him. He listened to me when I had nobody, and didn't like over comfort me but just was a decent friend. I knew he did pot and partied, but didn't think much about it cause when I was around him he was sober and a really nice guy. So we started hanging out everday cause we lived right next door to each other, and although he was rather popular cause his roommate (who was the basically the guy to go to for free weed 24/7) he didn't have many close friends and we connected quickly not just because of that but we had soo much in common, like a scary amount. I'm half filipino and he's half black and filipino. We both suffered from depression, we both have had very painful pasts, but I had overcome my darkness. I came to college a strong person, had just overcome depression and was ready to start a new. I was like any college kid, wanting to celebrate the freedom and party. So I did, and then got over it. I'm a person who is all for experimentation, because no one has the right to stop someone from trying things. But to me, if drugs was apart of your life permanently, you had problems. I understand being young and being free. So when we hung out, he wasn't who he really was. He was this sweet, innocent guy who really liked me and I liked him. We had trust. But when his roommate and he would come over and watch movies with my neighbors who were still my friends at the time, it would be normal to couple up and spoon while watching a movie with a guy. And when I was on the floor, he grabbed me and spooned with me. I thought it was cute, and innocent. Until he started touching me and I, at the time, was high and was ready to be free and experimental, really didn't bother me until he went further and I quickly turned to him and said ';I'm a virgin. I'm not a **** in anyway.'; and he said ';Oh...I had no idea'; in a perfect speech. I found out later he was on E. I knew he smoked pot but didn't know he actually was an Acid, E, and etc. user. It scared me, cause we were getting to be good friends and he was jumping pretty fast. Cutting that story short, the girl who's room we were in came in after being locked out in the hallway for an HOUR (she didnt knock, she said she didnt want to be a ';cockblocker'; which made me uneasy to what she thought what kind of girl I was) so I left and he left. Our room was like two feet away. He turned to me, (he didn't show he was on ANYTHING. he controls himself very well I later found out) ';Want to come to my room?'; and that freaked the hell out me and I just said ';No!'; and went to my room. So the next day he didn't act like anything had happened and I treated it like that as well. (I later confronted him about that story and he said ';WHAT? That never happened.'; and acted like he I was making the whole thing up. I think he didn't remember because he was on too many things, even tho he claims he remembers everything he does when he's intoxicated). So we continued to grow in our friendship, and be came BEST friends. We had a really cute relationship, he would come over after school to my room and bring his laptop and play MapleStory with me and liked to show me things about him and his life. I was really attracted to him because of the qualities that he didn't judge me, accepted and liked me for who I was, thought I was beautiful, didn't expect me to change myself to fit his guy fantasy at all, it was a really down to earth relationship. Then after I asked him once to come to my room to watch a movie, he came completely shitfaced. I didn't meet Chris, his night time life. I helped him, and made him come to my room everynight for WEEKS to make sure he wouldn't die somewhere and he really abused my friendship. I got really upset cause I found out he was permiscuous behind my back while he partied and I waited hours in the early morning for him to come to me. I didn't want him to end up spending the night at some ****'s dorm. After we went to a free concert that the whole city went to, and he kissed me, and treated me like a girlfriend, I couldnt take it that he wouldn't ask me out and wanted to keep this ';friends with benifits'; crap. Cause I'm not at all that girl, I take relationships seriously. So after he went back home to help his mom, I convinced him to be with me and he said ';I was just scared how u would handle my partying';. That didn't really concern me cause I didn't think he would be like that forever. Fastfoward, we were dating for a month or so with a 24.7 relationship and he expected me to change my lifestyle to his and keep up with him. I found him really exciting and fun soI just left the love of my life because of his drug addiction two days ago, any words of advice would help?
Wow! You have been through a whole lot! Well, pat yourself on the back for still being able to stand! My word!





This one is a hard one to call, but personally, I think you have done the right thing for yourself. Taking care of yourself is very important. If you'd like to message me, feel free to do so. :-)I just left the love of my life because of his drug addiction two days ago, any words of advice would help?
I think you have done the best thing for yourself by breaking up with him. Painful, but it is worth it. You don't need to deal with a boyfriend who chooses drugs over you. Unless your boyfriend chooses to get help, there is no hope for him. Really, you did the right thing.
  • elizabeth arden
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