I've never had any relationship with a guy in my life (I'm 14) and because every each and one of my friends has one (or used to have one) I felt ashamed of the fact I was too shy to even get close to a boy,leave alone be with someone.......
So my best friend - Sophie is a real party person- very friendly,outgoing and flirty (and I've always admired her for those qualities). One time she asked me if I've ever had a boyfriend before.. I told her I did... a long long time ago (which is obviously a complete and total lie) and made up a whole story about me and ';my guy'; at the spot.. It could tell that she had no doubt about what I was saying... We had that conversation 5-6 months ago or more.. and 2 days ago when we were talking about how shy I was.. and how more outgoing I should get ... I desperately wanted to share with her what was troubling me the most.. That I can't talk to guys... and that I made up the whole Me and My Boyfriend story T_T ...
I know she would never be mad for such a ridiculous lie,that didn't concern her... but I'd feel very embarrassed if I revealed myself... not that she'd laugh at me or make fun of me (that'd be completely unlike her) .. she'd know about my problem.. I don't want to uncover this secret... and yet I do [BTW: everyone that has asked me the boyfriend, has been told the same lie] !! I do so much.. well she's my best friend after all! But I can't just say it ... that doesn't concern any of the subjects we usually discuss and I can't just spit it out ... She'd feel very sorry for me.. and I don't want to look that pathetic in her eyes.
A part of me doesn't want to tell this to her because Sophie's always considered me a very gifted person.. and she admires me for many reasons.. I guess I don't want to break THIS however-u-wanna-call-it image .. ohhh.. I don't know... ......
What should I do? And.. what do you think about the entire situation...?
Thanks for, at least , reading my question. (: And please try to help me. I really am confused......A tiny personal issue.. words of advice?
It's nothing to be ashamed of..So, everyone around you is in a relationship. Big deal! you will be too, when you meet the right person. Learn to be comfortable with what you are, and don't be ashamed of yourself for stuff that doesn't really matter.
Of course, being happy with what you are doesn't mean you just remain stagnant, and don't try to improve. Certainly, it would be a nice thing if you worked on your confidence, and became more outgoing. But, then, confidence too, comes when you've learnt how to be comfortable with what you are.
I'd suggest you to just be honest with your friend. It's not that big a deal. Just stay happy, and know that you are still young, and the future still holds a lot for you. And don't ever feel ashamed for anything, (except, of course, when you do something that would hurt someone ;) ) , coz that's ';just the way you are';.. good luck. keep smiling :)A tiny personal issue.. words of advice?
a friend is someone you can rely on..
be honest..
her admiration towards you won't fade..
trust me..
Dude your getting a dell!
Its not a problem at all....
In fact if u just tel her the truth and ask for help she'll be glad to help u.
Its always good to hear when someone admire's some quality of yours and trust me....She'll feel more than happy to help U once U get the whole thing straight with her.
well i have mad lies about having a bf before too but that i think lots of girls doo ....its not a problem you dont half to tell her if you dont want to but if its really bothering you invite her to sleep over and then tell her ! and this not talknig to boys thing ! dont worry it will grow on you eventualy this guy will come up to say hi and you wont have no problem talking to him . so chill girl its all good ! but you can always contact me at ( yuki.hinder@yahoo.com ) ok :) ( i am also 14 )
If you are this nervous about telling her then maybe you aren't as close as you think. I know I have told lies to my close friends back in high school, and then years later when we are better friends, I might mention the stupid lies I have told, and we laugh at how stupid we were when we were 14.
Don't stress yourself out about it. In a few years time you will look back and laugh about how everything you did as a teenager that may have seemed like a big deal really wasn't.
I think that if you told her about the lie and told her how you feel, about the confusion and such, then she'll be very understanding. Now if you want I have some help concerning your shyness to guys.
Speaking as a guy, of course. Now, if i were you i'd start by talking to the guy I think is as close (personality wise) as possible. Gain confidence bit by bit. About the boyfriend thing, don't worry about not being in a relationship at this age. Trust me, it really is normal. Try to hang out with guys more, and be natural. I know you've probably heard it a hundred times, but trust me it works. Think as though they're girls, only talk about stuff guys like. Once you're confident enough remove the image thing. Any confidence you gain now stays with you for life. You'll have to get around this problem eventually, and what time's better than this?
If you need more help or advice feel free to email me on emmi-kenobio@hotmail.com.
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